by Nicholas Frank
This year has been a crash course in all things destructive.
As much as I want to be a force for good in a world that fuels hatred,
it’s not possible when I ignite that fuel and burn myself to ashes.
What had defined me was who I was to other people
But I do not know if I am open to myself about
what I am and who I love – is that what defines me?
It’s hard to take long, reflective walks
when you see signs and flags reminding you
that you don’t belong here. I’ll stay home.
The bags under my eyes
are almost as heavy as
the weight of the world
Will it all burn
down or will I
burn out first
going out with a whimper is not an option – I have made up in my mind that I will let my flame burn bright before it burns out
I got out of
bed late, but at
least I got out
My actions meant something
today and I haven’t felt
so awake in three weeks
My archaeologist self dug deep into
my own thoughts and self at 4:15 AM
The pressure is unbearable down here
Today I was told “I love you” by a bunch of people
I felt validated because for once in my life, I actually
realized – wait, they meant it. I guess I’m lovable after all
I think a lot about the world around me and how awful it is, but
if I can’t get through my own day anymore, I can’t begin to help it.
I deserve to focus on who I am. This is the start of a new me, it seems